the guilt after exams

Thursday, 2 August 2018


I finished exams mid-June and yet some days that I still feel guilty when I do something that is not studying or being productive. I feel like after exams we all need a period of mental health recovery. So that’s why I decided to start drawing again, reading, watching films, playing the uke… Basically just doing things I did not do throughout the semester. BUT I still felt guilty because I was doing something ‘fun’ and that’s fucked up.

I feel like I overworked myself because I wanted to get good grades and be on top of everything and I got there in the end and I’m proud of my results but damn, at what cost. From January/February to June all my focus was on uni and I barely had any days for myself. I just wanted to do uni stuff. Honestly, I should’ve looked after my mental health more, I should’ve gone out with friends more often, hell I should’ve talked with friends more often. I really felt like I was a terrible friend and I felt, and still do, terrible for only focusing on uni. Like, of course, it’s not bad to focus on uni but in my case, it was, because it was the only thing on my mind all the time.

I have told myself that I can't let this happen to me again in the next two semesters. Even if it’s my last uni year. I don’t want to feel like this again. I want to focus on uni but also keep some sort of social life which isn’t that much for my introverted self anyway but you know, just more social than this past 7 months.

Hope you’re all doing great and having a good summer so far.

Post a Comment

Latest Instagrams