clothes and confidence progress

Sunday, 9 September 2018

I’ve never been someone to experiment with my wardrobe and my style. I’ve always been quite simple on that sense: a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and a sweater/hoodie when it’s cold. Usually, all black, sometimes mixed with grey or white a bit of dark blue and burgundy if I’m feeling extra confident. But there is that, I'm rarely confident. I usually put on something and maybe I change a thousand times until I'm like 'fuck it, let's go'.

Recently, well last winter, I bought a pair of slightly fancier trousers in black (a girl’s gotta stick to her brand, you know) but I did not wear them outside of the house at all… until this spring. I think I just decided to go all ‘fake it till you make it’, see if it would work, people say it does so I had to try. So one day I decided to wear them outside of the house (I only went to a gardening centre but you know #progress) even if I wasn’t 100% sure I liked how the outfit looked on me and even if at first felt weird wearing it.

I posted a pic of the outfit on my Instagram stories saying that wasn’t something I’d normally wear and that I wasn’t 100% confident but that I wanted to start doing more things that scared me so I was gonna wear the damn trousers outside. And guess what? some lovely people messaged me back saying that I did look nice and that props to me for doing things that scare me and honestly, their reassurance was all it took for me to be a bit more confident; they all honestly made my day so thank you if you’re reading this. I know I shouldn't seek validation from others and all that but I just needed a little push. Someone to convince me that my brain was playing tricks and that the outfit did look nice.
Anyway, I guess that triggered something in me because I also started wearing my mom jeans more and more when going outside and more tight shirts and crop tops AND I also bought 2 pairs of shorts (both for 7€, couldn’t say no to that) which is something I used to never wear, even if it was 30ºC outside.

And now I've just bought a skirt... yes, ME, a skirt! Who would've thought? It was a bargain and it just screamed Autumn. I hope I get to wear it a lot this next season, I'm really looking forward to it.

This won’t seem like much to most people but it was for me and I just want to keep being more comfortable in my body and ‘experiment’ a bit more with clothing and just be confident with what I wear and how I look. It is gonna be a very long process, I know I'm not gonna be confident in a day, my body-image issues are not gonna go away soon but I'd like to think this is a tiny step towards being more 'me'.

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