almost a graduate.

Friday, 22 February 2019

February is practically over. This means that in about three months I will be done with uni forever. and I can't get it out of my head. The three classes I have this semester? Over. My dissertation? Handed in. And then, what? Well let me tell you, I have absolutely no idea. I don’t have a clue about what I am gonna do once I graduate. Throughout these years I’ve seen a lot of people (some even from day one) who seem to have it all figured out and that know what they want to do, what job they want to go after. That’s not me, and I know I’m not alone, some of my friends do not know either. And I guess that’s okay.

However, not knowing makes me anxious, especially when every other adult around seems to be asking about my future and pressuring me into deciding what I will do for the rest of my life. I’ve applied for internships in my field but so far I’ve had no response (a part of me is relieved not gonna lie).

See I am passionate about a lot of things, mainly artistic things. I love drawing, a lot, it’s like an escape for me. Could I make a living out of it? Probably not, not right now anyway. I’ve been selling my art on redbubble for a while and it makes me SO happy, even if I don’t get much from it. It’s just so satisfying when people like something you make. I also love photography an awful lot. Am I good at it? Could I also make a living out of this? Well, I do not know. I certainly need practice, and a camera for all that matters because yes, all these years I’ve been taking pictures with my phone. I did save up for a camera but shit happens (we’ll leave that for another time). Again, I love taking photos so much and would love to learn more about it and maybe make something out of it, like sell prints. And I love translating and writing. It’s what I’ve been studying all these years, after all. I would love to work in a publishing house as an editor for example. I don’t know.
With all this, I mean that these are all things I love with a passion and would happily work on those fields. I don’t know where life will take me or what I will end up doing and I want to believe that it’s fucking okay to not know. You know, we grow up with the idea that we only have one choice career-wise. Choose this and that’s what you’ll be doing for the rest of your life. I don’t buy it, I don’t want that. I want to experience different things and if something doesn’t work out, the next thing will, and eventually I will find my way.

Now, this is for me and for all of you who might also feel a little lost about what’s to come and also to those who keep asking us what we will do with our lives:

Yes, we will finish uni in a few months and no, we do not know what we will do when that happens. It feels like we’re pressured to jump into something else as soon as one chapter of life is over and we may not be as ready as everyone else, we need our time. Please, please stop asking us what we will do. We will figure it out eventually, seriously, we really will. On our own. In our own time. Please, please stop pressuring us because we will get there one way or another, just give us time and space.

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